Archive for December, 2009

Are you wondering what holiday gift to give to the metaphysically inspired person in your life? We all know the person I’m speaking of, who is working on their inner self, transcending the material world, wouldn’t step foot in a shopping mall, thinks green, loves organic, and whom the ideal gift of all time would be a moment of peace for the entire world.

What gift would bring them joy, love and serenity, while tantalizing their soul with flights of wisdom and whispers of ancient mysteries brought back to the light. Never worry, doubt or fear gentle readers, for today as we begin the countdown to December 25th, I bring you 12 Days and 12 Gifts for the holidays.

Regardless of whether your loved one celebrates Christmas, Hannukkah, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, St. Lucia Day, Bodhi Day, Boxing Day, Eid-al-Adha, Las Posadas, or one of the many others holidays celebrated around the world, you’ll find something here that will touch their mind, body, heart and soul.

In keeping with the spirit of the 12 Days of Christmas theme, I present here
12 Days listing 12 Gifts of Enlightenment:

Gift Number One: GiveThe Gift of Intuition and the Goddess

Quite simply, I adore the Triple Goddess Tarot: The Power of the Major Arcana, Chakra Healing and the Divine Feminine, which was created by Isha Lerner with Tara McKinney, Ph.D and illustrated by Mara Friedman. The cards are beautiful representations of the tarot with a deep powerful connection to the Goddess energy in all of her forms. Created by three women, bringing forth the power of three in collaboration, the cards are offered in a boxed set which also includes a 230 page book explaining the meanings of cards in great detail.

In my work as a mystery school teacher at the Temple of Stella Maris, it was a joy to work with these cards and to read the chapter presented here in the book on Mystery Schools, Sacred Pilgrimage, Alchemy and Initiation, which honors the role of the Goddess and Divine Feminine in these schools. Equally delightful is the unique presentation of the cards, which include Alchemy Cards and Chakra Cards, bringing a new rendition of the tarot into this new millennium, as the rise of the old ways return to be reborn once again.

All around, a wonderful gift for the tarot lover in your life, who will appreciate the rich level of detail and sophistication presented here with the history of indigenous cultures, goddess energy, alchemical forces and natural elements. Beginners new to tarot, will enjoy this set as well, as the book offers explicit detail on layouts and complete descriptions for each of the cards. Well done to these three goddess who joined forces to create this beautiful tarot set, dedicated to the Divine Feminine.

While on the path of the spiraling Goddess and in this season of reflection and gratitude, to all who walk this path, I ask you to take a moment and send a prayer of thanks and reverence to Zsuzsanna Budapest, who escaped from the war torn country of Hungary, to move to the United States.  While serving the Goddess in this country, creating the Susan B Anthony coven, Z was arrested in 1975 in California for breaking an old law on the books which forbid anyone to use the gift of psychic or tarot readings. Zsuzsanna, or Z as she is affectionately referred to, refused to pay the small fine and instead went to jail to fight this law and opened the doorway for all sisters to have the right to use their gifts of intuition and psychic ability. By doing so, she changed history and was instrumental in paving the way for the gifts of the Goddess to come pouring forth and to be shared publicly. We owe this earth mother goddess much for her bravery, strength of character and grace under pressure. If you haven’t read her book – Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries, I highly recommend it and while you’re at it, buy a copy to give to a special woman in your life. Z also publishes Goddess Magazine, which can be read here online: http://issuu.com/zbudapest/docs/goddess
and listen here to my interview with Z here on Explore Your Spirit as we discuss spirituality, her books and the goddess: http://www.exploreyourspirit.com/Media/shows9.shtml#BUDAPEST

Wrapping up our discussion for this evening, we end in a three, as it should be when speaking of the Goddess. One of the joys I’ve had on the Explore Your Spirit with Kala Show, is being able to speak with so many incredibly talented and gifted individuals from around the world, including one of my favorite places – Australia. Two of the loveliest women that I’ve ever crossed paths with live in Australia, they are:

Anita Ryan, who has created an entire Goddess movement in Australia called Reconnect with your Inner Goddess and who wrote The Goddess Guide to Chakra Vitality, empowers women to connect with their authentic self and explore the goddess living within.  Anita’s energy radiates and she is in full Goddess Mother essence, raising her children and reaching out with her book – Selena’s Crystal Balls: A Magical Journey Through the Chakras, which makes for a perfect stocking stuffer gift for any indigo child on your list. Listen to my interview with Anita here on Explore Your Spirit as we discuss chakras and her Selena’s book: http://www.exploreyourspirit.com/Media/shows3.shtml#SELENA

and the deliciously delightful Lucy Cavendish, with an energy that beats in tune with the Goddess in every magical step she takes. Just speaking to her is transcending, moving you into a state of love and longing for more of the Goddess. Her inspired set of tarot cards, The Oracle Tarot, remains one of my most favorite decks of all time and I use them every week when working with students of the mysteries. You can hear my interview with Lucy here on Explore Your Spirit: http://www.exploreyourspirit.com/Media/shows1.shtml#CAVENDISHORACLE For the especially gifted metaphysician in your life, give them the gift of Lucy’s Oracle Tarot along with her book White Magic.

May these gift suggestions bring you and your loved ones the gift of enlightenment, intuition and the blessings of the Goddess. In this age of information, let us also offer gratitude for the incredible times we live in, where we can communicate and share online with family and friends around the world in a flash. Never before have we been able to share in this way and it is a gift in itself.

Check back in tomorrow for suggestions on Gift Number Two.

In love, light and joy,
*~Kala~*

More about Kala Ambrose:
Kala is an award winning author, intuitive and talk show host of the Explore Your Spirit with Kala Show. Her thought-provoking interviews entice listeners to tune in around the globe! Described by her guests and listeners as discerning, empowering and inspiring, she speaks with world renowned authors, artists, teachers and researchers delving into metaphysical, holistic and paranormal topics. Kala’s  book, 9 Life Altering Lessons: Secrets of the Mystery Schools Unveiled delves into the mysteries of ancient Egyptian mystery schools and explains their wisdom teachings. Kala lectures on Esoteric Teachings,  Developing Business Intuition, Working with Auras, Chakras and Energy Fields, and Wise Woman Wisdom (also known as the Divine Feminine). Kala’s Guided Meditations CD’s include Spirit of Hawaii and Egyptian Mystery Temple and Tibetan Mountain Journey.  More info: www.ExploreYourSpirit.com

Maggie can’t leave the kitchen while anything is cooking.  As long as she stays in the kitchen everything is fine.  But if she leaves, the stove top, oven, toaster, whatever she has been using, mysteriously shuts itself off.

She has narrowed this phenomenon down to the presence of her “kitchen ghost,” as she likes to call it – a woman who had died, and carried with her a fear of fire. Maggie has resolved the problem by bringing into the kitchen good music and plenty of reading material whenever she wants to cook. “I like my kitchen ghost,” she confesses. “I never want her to leave. Now I don’t have to worry about whether or not I turned the coffee pot off.”

Alice, a single teenage mother with an infant, lives with her own mother in a two story home. Alice goes to school part-time and Grandma Sarah, while not working, watches the baby. After Alice sees a spirit in the living room one day we are called in to do a “ghost clearing” Alice hopes the session will explain the unknown footsteps in the middle of the night, doors mysteriously left open, her feeling of being watched.

We go in and, forming a healing circle, convince the spirit of an angry elderly man to leave the house and complete his journey to Spirit. He moves on to a better place, joining his ancestors in peace. A second spirit, a nice woman, moves on as well…easily…almost too easily. First she is there, and then she’s not. We don’t see her anymore and the house is at peace. So we leave, thinking our work is done.

It is now two months later, and we get a call from Alice. She says that she smells perfume every-so-often, and that at one point she felt a comforting presence, watching over her during a period of sadness and despair. “Steve, do you think I could have prevented the spirit from moving on during the clearing? At one point,” she relates sheepishly, “I thought to the spirit that she could come back anytime she wanted to.”

Alice finally shares something she hadn’t shared before. A few weeks before the clearing session, she had left the baby alone in the bedroom while going quickly to another room to take care of errands. “It’s safe,” she thought. “The baby can’t even roll over yet.” But, while in the other room, she heard a noise and rushed back to the bedroom to behold something amazing. The baby was hovering midway between the bed top and the floor, and was slowly being “lifted” by invisible hands through the air, to be gently placed upon the bed. “I’m not ready to let go of the ghost yet,” she confides. “I really want the extra help.”

While traveling, we might see an advertisement about, and actually participate in, a “ghost tour.” Some of those ghost tours actually do include ghosts! Many of the spirits may be comfortable where they are – Earthbound. There are many people that wish the spirits to stay, and many of the spirits might feel good about being wanted, and attended to.

Claire had told her husband, before he died, that he could evaluate, or at least meet, prospective husbands for her before he succumbed to terminal cancer. She hadn’t wanted to agree to this, but did so in order to appease him and alleviate his fears.  A short while later her husband died and after some time of mourning, she decided to date again.

Her first date had car trouble before going to pick her up; the engagement never took place. Her second date tripped on her front doorstep, severely straining his ankle. Some time later, she actually went out to dinner with a man, only to have a chandelier fall from the restaurant ceiling, narrowly missing his head. “Steve,” she admits. “I think it might be time for me to let go of my husband.”

As Light Workers, part of our job description is to help bring people higher levels of awareness, a greater sense of peace. And this is not limited to those people still embodied, but also to those who are disembodied – ghosts. At the time of death, and thereafter, having not taken advantage of the gateway to a Higher Reality, these Earthbound Spirits often roam unconsciously around the Earth, haunting various people and/or places. As a service, we can help these spirits become more aware of their surroundings, and their choices – to stay upon the Earth Plane, or to continue the journey to Spirit, joining their ancestors in a place of greater peace and contentment.

At times, it may seem hard to decide if and when to release spirit. If the spirit has become a problem then we may easily decide to send him or her onward. Doors or closets opening and closing, lights coming on or off,  bad smells, people having negative physical interactions with the spirit, bothersome noises at times, other more negative interactions – all these may prompt a person to send the ghost onward.

But what about a spirit that just wants to help, a spirit who is comfortable where he or she is? What about a spirit that is more of a helper than a hinderer? In the first example above, the situation with the kitchen ghost, Maggie did not even help the spirit become aware of her choices. She decided to keep the spirit in the dark, assuming that the spirit would be more than happy to stay and watch the kitchen. This, to me, may have been an unethical decision on Maggie’s part. I felt the need to communicate with the spirit, to see if I could help. However, I was not given permission from the homeowner to do so. Even if I had tried to send the spirit onward, the homeowner might have just as easily kept the spirit there.

In the second example, Alice, the single teenage mother, had the heart and the willingness to help lead the spirit to a greater state of awareness, but then, out of fear or the need for additional help with her baby, she invited the ghost to stay. During that incident, we were able to communicate clearly to the spirit that she had an option to find greater peace with her ancestors. However, the single mother and the ghost had reached an agreement in which the ghost would stay and help. The mother wanted the help, and the spirit wanted to help. Alice, however, did agree that at some future time when she was feeling better and more confident about her own parenting skills, she would once again contact the ghost. She would remind the ghost about greater peace and contentment being available. She would sincerely urge the spirit onward.

What about a spirit who is actually a loved one who has passed on? These situations can cause ethical, moral, and emotional dilemmas. For someone who has recently lost a loved one, it is often “normal” for the spirit to hang around for some time, normal for the bereaved to “hallucinate” the presence of the deceased. If the relationship is supportive and loving, I will not even try to send the spirit onward. There may be a need on both the person’s parts to continue the relationship. However, if the relationship turns harmful or limiting, if it interferes with the healthy functioning of either individual, then it may be time to intervene. It may be time to help both of them with the grief process, allowing, even encouraging, the separation. Claire, whose husband had died holding onto the thought of interviewing prospective husbands for her, had finally reached a new level of awareness herself. After realizing that her husband had been hanging around, being perhaps a bit too forceful with his interviews, she had reached a decision to help him reach a new, higher, level of awareness.

There is no pat answer as to when we “should” send an Earthbound spirit onward. For “simple” hauntings, those in which the spirit is just hanging around or observing, we may be doing a disservice to those ghosts that we know are present if we merely ignore them. The same holds true for more “complex” cases. We can review our motives, our needs and wants, and approach the situation with loving kindness, from the heart. We treat the ghosts as we would real people. They may be lost or merely unaware of the option to find greater peace. When the spirit is letting its presence be known, he or she is also more open to receiving our communications, to listening to us. We can, at that time, communicate with them. We can let them know that they are dead, their responsibilities upon the Earth are over, they are forgiven for what they did or didn’t do, and loved ones are waiting (in the Light) to greet them and to help them. If family, they can come back to visit on holidays and other times, but they must not linger.

They have their own lives to lead…in Spirit.

Steven Rogat will be a guest on The Explore Your Spirit with Kala Show in early 2010 . Check back for the official show date coming soon.

More about Steven Rogat…
Steven is a gifted clairvoyant, medical/emotional intuitive, and shamanic healer renowned for his ability to touch others’ lives with his wisdom, insight, and healing. He is a National Certified Counselor and Licensed Professional Counselor who brings to his practice extensive training with indigenous healers in the Hawaiian, Mexican, and Native American traditions. He is also a massage therapist, hypnotherapist, Eye Movement Therapist (EMDR) and Thought Field Therapist (TFT) whose variety of skills and natural clairvoyance create a unique opportunity for healing. Steven’s books include Healing Thoughts: Applying Therapeutic Shamanism in Your Daily Life and, co-written with Marcia Rogat, Spirit Journeys: Freeing the Soul in This Life and Beyond. More info at: www.CreativeThought.org

The Medicine Within YOU—Personal and Planetary Healing is the theme for this year’s annual New Year’s Conference held at the international headquarters of Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. in Virginia Beach, Va. This conference invites participants to rediscover the path of beauty that was once known to all our ancestors. Speakers include Ken “Bear Hawk” Cohen, author of Honoring the Medicine, who shares Native American sacred Earth teachings,  Mark Thurston, PhD, Judith Stevens, Henry Reed, PhD, and Peter Woodbury—all will explore personal and global transformation, living in harmony with the natural world and healing bodies, souls, and the planet.

Kenneth “Bear Hawk” Cohen, a health educator and practitioner of indigenous medicine, has trained with Native American and other indigenous elders for more than thirty years. His work is strongly endorsed by his adoptive Cree Indian family and elders from several nations. He was an apprentice to Rolling Thunder, Keetoowah, and other noted North American Indian medicine people and is a member of several medicine societies. In 2003, Ken won the leading international award in energy medicine, the Alyce and Elmer Green Award for Innovation and Lifetime Achievement.

Mark Thurston, PHD, is an educator, psychologist, and author of nineteen books about personal spirituality. He worked with the A.R.E. and Atlantic University from 1973 through 2008, and is a cofounder and course leader for the Personal Transformation and Courage Institute. Mark is now senior fellow at George Mason University’s Center for Consciousness and Transformation, in suburban Washington, D.C., where he teaches undergraduate and graduate courses on consciousness, meaning, and conflict transformation.

Judith Stevens, a former A.R.E. staff member who served as manager of the worldwide Search for God Study Group Program and originated A.R.E.’s Prison Outreach Program, has studied the Cayce readings for more than forty years and is the author of the forthcoming book Edgar Cayce’s Tools for Abundance. She will lead the New Year’s Eve meditation. Henry Reed, PhD, Director of the Edgar Cayce Institute of Intuitive Studies, is a visionary psychologist who has, for more than forty years, used his dreams and visions to create extraordinary experiences for others. Peter Woodbury, MSW, a Harvard University graduate and psychotherapist who focuses on the use of spirituality and faith as tools for transformation, is a popular A.R.E. tour leader and speaker on the Edgar Cayce perspective.

Ellen Cayce, who served on A.R.E.’s staff for fifteen years, will lead a special morning World Peace Meditation that has been celebrated every New Year’s Eve at A.R.E. for more than twenty years. Patrick Belisle, director of A.R.E.’s Office of Development and a longtime student and teacher of the Cayce material, will help you find your own path through joyful service to others.

Celebrate 2010 with an exciting New Year’s celebration featuring music, dancing, fellowship, food, and fun, followed by a peaceful midnight meditation to usher in the New Year. Special thanks to The Heritage Store for underwriting our New Year’s celebration.

Open to all, The Medicine Within YOU—Personal and Planetary Healing is scheduled for December 28-31, at Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E., 215 67th Street, Virginia Beach, VA 23451. Admission is $255, with special pricing for a single day or single presentations. Continuing Education Units (CEUs) for this conference are approved by IACET and provided by Atlantic University. The conference is approved for up to 15.58 contact hours or 1.56 academic CEUs. For more information or to register, contact the A.R.E. conference registrars at 757-428-3588, ext. 7401, or go to EdgarCayce.org/conferences.

Held concurrently with the adult conference, there is also a youth track for this event. Teens, ages 13 to 17, are invited to attend Where Are YOU in the World? at the special tuition rate of $250 which also includes food and lodging. A residential program entitled The Cayce Principles: Inside and Out is open to young adults between the ages 18 and 25. Tuition of $250 includes food and lodging for four nights. Finally, a special $45 children’s one-day program, Making My Mark in the World, is open to kids ages 5 to 12.

More about the A.R.E…
Edgar Cayce founded the non-profit Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.) in 1931, to explore spirituality, holistic health, intuition, dream interpretation, psychic development, reincarnation, and ancient mysteries—all subjects that frequently came up in the more than 14,000 documented psychic readings given by Cayce, who died in 1945. The mission of A.R.E. is simply to help people around the world change their lives for the better through the ideas and information found in the readings. The Virginia Beach headquarters is a popular site for locals and tourists with free daily lectures, a Health Center and Spa, the Cayce/Reilly® School of Massotherapy, an extensive metaphysical library, a meditation garden, a stone labyrinth, and a bookstore and gift shop. Visitors from around the world come to our conferences to hear expert speakers on subjects like ancient mysteries, holistic health, and spiritual development. A.R.E. also maintains an affiliation with Atlantic University. Through its many programs, services, publications, and membership outreach, Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E. provides individuals from all walks of life and a variety of religious backgrounds with tools for personal transformation and healing at all levels—body, mind, and spirit. For more information about Edgar Cayce’s A.R.E., please visit EdgarCayce.org.

The creation of beauty, harmony, and balance in my art has always been a most natural process, but when I allow the two-word poem, “sacred spaces”, to transport me, I am struck by the number of ways these words can be seen as a sort of “central organizing principle” in my work.  Like a symphonic theme, it runs throughout my life in various forms with different inflections of tone and meaning.

When every woman decides to actively direct the course of her life she must make her home a kind of sacred space where she can come to feel her power.  She must feel fundamentally untouchable by forces she wishes to avoid.  In fact, the very word sacred is derived from the Latin sacer meaning “untouchable.”

To take the monumental step of attempting to share this feeling of power and safety with another requires the creation of a sacred space in a formerly solitary existence and, sometimes, a sacred space for the public acknowledgement of this partnership. The failure to regard each other’s existence as a sacred space inevitably results in separation.  In my own life, I have been fortunate enough to find a partner who shares my views and joins me in actively seeking new ways to acknowledge our lives as sacred.  Our relationship has evolved to the point where we have joined forces artistically to create successful projects of our own design.

An artist must extend her sacred space both physically and metaphysically.  She must first contact the sacred space within us all from which all creation emanates.  To do this often requires the creation of a sacred space in daily affairs – a time dedicated to establishing that contact – that empowers the creation of life as a work of Art and art as a work of Life.

All of life requires a womb, a matrix of support where emerging creations can grow, and the artist’s studio – whether it is a small kitchen table or as big as a stable – can truly be a sacred space.  My supervising the design and construction of my studio four years ago marked a turning point in my evolution as a woman in charge of her own destiny.  It’s construction was distinguished by the use of both ancient and modern techniques to consecrate it as a sacred space to be used in the creation of sacred art for the good of all.

I have evolved a collage technique that allows me to create images that allow our five senses to contact the sacred, untouchable spaces beyond our senses – the unseen forces of our Higher Self and the energies that empower, nurture, and unite us with All-There-Is.  Images from the sacred spaces of the land of our dreams – the landscapes of our soul – can be found in my “materializations”.

Using the exquisite handiwork designed and executed by women for women, the laces, beading, and appliqués which are themselves timeless works of art, I use the fabrics of today’s existence as well as various other techniques to turn these secular objects and industrial processes into sacred spaces.  It is a form of alchemy that I am desirous of extending to the marketplace as well.

I have used my art to reclaim as sacred spaces both the walls of the art galleries and museums which exhibit my work, and the pages of the more than forty best-selling books and divination systems I have created with my husband, author Monte Farber. The world of business must not be neglected for it too thrives when seen as an opportunity for the creation of sacred spaces in our environment.  The threats to our survival are caused by poor decisions made in the absence of seeing daily life as a sacred space.

Every one of my artistic projects involves creations designed to put the viewer in that most sacred space of relaxed attention caused by the blending of left and right brain hemispheres.  In this state we can harmonize our intuition with our analytic power.  We gain insights that inform our appreciation for our simple existence and the decision making that can either further or impede that existence.

Though, at times, seeing every space I find myself in as sacred seems as untouchable a goal as grasping space, I am fortunate enough to snap back to my more sacred space rather quickly.  This resiliency is only one of the beneficial results of keeping such lofty goals in mind and in perspective.  By so doing, we ensure the continuation of our lives as an ever-widening definition of what constitutes a sacred space.

More About Monte Farber and Amy Zerner:

Internationally known self-help author Monte Farber’s inspiring guidance and empathic insights impact everyone he encounters. Amy Zerner’s exquisite, one-of-a-kind spiritual couture creations and collaged fabric paintings exude her profound intuition and deep connection with archetypal stories and healing energies. For more than thirty years they’ve combined their deep love for each other with the work of inner exploration and self-discovery to build The Enchanted World of Amy Zerner and Monte Farber: popular books, card decks, and oracles that have helped millions answer questions, find deeper meaning, and follow their own spiritual paths.

Together they’ve made their love for each other a work of art and their art the work of their lives, with over two million books in print in fourteen languages. Their other best-selling titles include The Chakra Meditation Kit, The Tarot Discovery Kit, Karma Cards, The Enchanted Spellboard, Secrets of the Fortune Bell, Little Reminders: Love & Relationships, Little Reminders: The Law of Attraction, Goddess, Guide Me!, The Animal Powers Meditation Kit, Astrology Gems, True Love Tarot, The Instant Tarot Reader, The Psychic Circle, Wish Upon A Star, The Pathfinder Psychic Talking Board, The Truth Fairy, Spirit of the Ancestors Altar Kit, Vibe-Away!, The Mystic Messenger, The Breathe Easy Deck, The Healing Deck, and The Ghostwriter Automatic Writing Kit.  More info at: www.TheEnchantedWorld.com

Sustaining a soul-hearted partnership with ourselves is the groundwork for the shared experience of soul-hearted partnership. This means maintaining trust in our connection with source, listening to the voice of spirit through our hearts, releasing negative patterns, and manifesting intentions for a more fulfilling personal life. It requires continually letting go of the life we have chosen until now so we can cocreate the life we want to share with a partner in the future. Using conscious awareness, we can witness how spirit guides us to opportunities and choices that result in a life based less on fear and insecurity, and more on spiritual transformation. But it is equally important to realize that sustaining soul-hearted partnership with ourselves necessitates constant personal evolution.

Often in relationships, because we so desperately want a fairy tale romance, we block our access to spiritual information and make excuses for relationship deficits. Trying to make the relationship work at all costs, we ignore the surfacing of patterns. Needy and afraid to be alone, we begin doubting our ability to generate opportunities through intention, and we ask ourselves: “What if this is the last chance for me to be in a relationship?” “If I leave the relationship, will I end up alone?” and “Can I earn a living and take care of myself on my own?” Such behavior leads to stagnation in the same kinds of situations we have experienced in the past.

For these reasons, we have to take time to be alone and discover how to sustain a soul-hearted partnership with ourselves before entering into a new relationship with another person.

Like the life cycles we move through as the years unfold, relationships also have life cycles—some lasting for only a brief period and others a season or a lifetime. To make suitable choices in relationships for particular periods in our lives, it is helpful to look at three major types of relationship that, together, can satisfy everything from need fulfillment to spiritual growth.

First, there is transitional relationship, based on momentary needs. This type of relationship includes casual encounters for the purpose of sex or friendship, healing, ego validation, overcoming loneliness, or dealing with a desire for control and security. During transitions, intense times of self-healing and personal discovery, we tend to initiate relationships with people who exhibit negative patterns to which we are attracted, or who are releasing such patterns themselves and in a position to assist us in learning to love ourselves. We are drawn by the energy of these people, in transition themselves, as a way of stabilizing the unsettling period in our own lives. The mutual exchange of energy, while temporary, can be satisfying and supportive. As long as both individuals are aware of the purpose of their relationship, their needs are being met, and they are observing healthy boundaries and treating each other with respect, they can both benefit greatly from the experience.

The second type of relationship is contractual relationship, in which individuals come together to create something for a common purpose. The most customary form of contractual relationship involves childbearing, usually in a marriage. A contractual relationship can also exist for such purposes as establishing social status or developing a business enterprise.

Finally, there is true soul-hearted partnership, in which both individuals have a fully realized relationship with themselves as well as with each other. In such a relationship, partners can develop spiritually in concert with each other, and thus the relationship can last a lifetime without becoming unhealthy or unfulfilling. And because it is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth, soul-hearted partnership can be seen as the ultimate form of spiritual relationship.

Our longing for love often convinces us that all relationships are meant to last forever and keeps us from distinguishing between the various types. Knowing the life cycles of different types of relationships helps us adjust our expectations accordingly, ensuring that we actively maintain lifelong relationships and willingly let go of temporary ones. Many couples fall in love and marry blinded by physical attraction, which makes them feel alive. This form of transitional relationship usually originates when individuals are vulnerable and looking for an experience to either transform us or ground them.  But as the steam of lust and infatuation clears they see the relationship for what it is and become dissatisfied.

Much the same can be said of contractual relationships. Despite their shared mission and positive aspects, we must be aware that such relationships are not complete because they are usually not based on a genuine partnership in which each person is independently fulfilled. Therefore, it is essential to discern, through the use of conscious awareness, whether a relationship is based on the common core values of love, trust, integrity, intimacy, and a soul connection or is merely functioning in fulfillment of an agreement or as a temporary distraction or emotional crutch.

Contractual or transitional relationships can become soul-hearted partnerships when there is a mutual desire for spiritual growth and an adherence to its core values. But when there isn’t attempting to sustain these temporary relationships can cause suffering, especially those based on a short-term physical or emotional dependency. Unfortunately, people who automatically think a relationship should last forever may fail to assess the purpose of their relationships and thus confuse transitional or contractual ones with the lifetime soul-hearted type. Some people even marry partners they know are incompatible, making a commitment to cherish the union until death do them part—a decision likely to be disastrous to both parties, especially when the relationship’s purpose has been fulfilled early on and there is little spiritual basis to continue the union.

It is important to see transitional and contractual relationships for what they are: a means of coping with a difficult or transformative period in life with the help of another person who fulfills our needs, helps us grow, and adds joy to our circumstances. Such relationships, when entered into honestly and lovingly, can be beneficial if they propel both individuals along their chosen spiritual paths. Yet once their mission is fulfilled, it is usually time to let go and progress to another level of relationship, for which the transitional or contractual partner may not be appropriate. In such a case, we can honor the partner by expressing gratitude for their being, lovingly release the relationship, and move on. For our own well-being, it’s important that we do not make transitional or contractual relationships committed ones or stay in such relationships beyond their spiritual purpose.

In temporary relationships such as this, we often experience a struggle between our heads and our hearts that keeps us from listening to the voice of spirit. We close the eyes of the heart, succumbing to our fears of loss, rejection, and scarcity and diminishing our sense of ourselves for a momentary “fix” of physical attraction, emotional security, or personal calling, leading us to make pattern-driven, unenlightened choices.

To avoid settling for a relationship that inhibits spiritual growth, it is crucial to be aware that strong sexual attraction often characterizes the first stage of a new relationship based on infatuation. Physical attraction can, however, diminish our ability to observe the relationship from a healthy detached point of view. This is when we fall head over heels—or more often, “head over heart.” As a result, we can become attached to a relationship physically or as an emotional crutch, and lose our common sense and our trust in ourselves to make informed decisions.

As we continue the inner spiritual work necessary to sustain our full self-expression, we may declare an intention to enter into an intimate relationship with another person. In preparation for such an event, we can use the spiritual principles we have learned to assist us in interviewing potential partners so we can choose discerningly.

Many people spend more time and energy interviewing prospective plumbers, landscapers, and Internet companies than potential partners. Because of lust, neediness, or fear of being alone, we allow impulse, infatuation, and patterns to influence these choices.

Instead, we can interview potential partners by using specific spiritual principles. First, we prepare by listening to the voice of spirit through our hearts, which will assist us in maintaining a healthy detached point of view and activating conscious awareness. Next, we observe various people we are considering dating, are currently dating, or are in relationship with and ask our hearts these questions: “Does this person demonstrate a fully expressed relationship with themselves, and is this evident in daily life?” “How do I feel about myself when I am with this person?” and “Do I see myself as being happier in this relationship?” Ideally a potential partner will be trustworthy, loving, playful, and exude a sheer love of life. When we are with such a person, we will feel inspired, safe, and free to express our true being. The individual will take responsibility for their own weaknesses, show integrity in the enlightened choices they make, do the inner spiritual work for personal transformation, and increasingly develop to their fullest potential. The following qualification mantra is helpful to use when interviewing potential partners: “Who you are, I must love. How you act and treat me, I have to like. And most of all, my loving heart has to be earned.”

Excerpted from Soul-Hearted Partnership, Creating the Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy by Debra L. Reble, Ph.D., 2009, www.soulheartedpartnership.com

More about Debra Reble..

Debra L. Reble, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist who conducts a private practice and facilitates workshops and seminars that focus on enhancing personal transformation and well-being. She also is the founder of HeartPaths of Cleveland, Ohio, a company dedicated to providing materials that inspire full self-expression. In addition, she is a director of Foundation in Light, an international nonprofit educational organization devoted to the integration of light through the heart into human experience. In her role as director, she assists in presenting workshops, retreats, and consultation to promote spiritual growth and self-realization.

What is Peace? Do we know when we have peace, are at peace, or are we only aware of its presence when it’s gone? Do we squander time when we could be at peace, choosing instead to indulge in misery and complaints, until something horrible happens to make us realize that our lives were pretty peaceful? Why do we fail to realize and appreciate what we have in front of us, unable to see that it could be lost or taken away?

Many cultures try to teach that peace is a state of mind, It’s taught in the Catholic mass when each person turns in a full circle around them, greets each person, holds their hand, looks them in the eye and says, “Peace – Be – With – You”. Buddhist monks teach meditation, expressing the concept that to meditate is to be unaffected and calm while chaos occurs around you, to remain in peace while others panic.

In reviewing the concept of Peace in its most simplistic definition, it is described as the absence of war. Could this refer to the war within each of us, as we struggle against ourselves? Is it possible to know peace without first knowing war? Must we experience friction in order to know its release?

In the laws of physics, friction occurs when two objects come into contact with each other. The amount of friction can be measured in the terms of how much pressure is required before motion of some type occurs. We see this when two sticks are rubbed together until a spark is created, resulting in fire. When you take a step, you create friction to push your foot off the ground to take the next step. When waves break on the shore, friction is created. It is the same with people, a kiss is friction and when two ideas or ideologies clash, it creates friction.

While pondering these thoughts, I began to wonder…What if we need places and people to help us find peace by creating chaos around us? What if by grand decision, we inadvertently create friction as part of a master plan? Could the law of physics and friction be the entire catalyst for our journey on earth? After all, does not the friction of a grain of sand in the oyster create the pearl?

What if every action does have a reaction and we hold the key to peace? What if the answer lies in the fact that we haven’t understood at what price peace comes or that peace has a price at all? Perhaps we have a larger role to play in consciously creating the act of peace.

Is it possible that each of us creates friction and offers peace in one of three roles, which I have identified and named as – a Haven, a Harbor or a Hollow? Could it be that each person who enters our lives, whether for a brief moment or a lifetime relationship, are like ships tendering at our dock, coming into our lives when they need a particular experience?

As we continue to cry aloud en masse to give peace a chance, have we been looking outward for so long, that we’ve lost sight of all that we know and knew to be true? Could the answers we seek and the help we long for, actually be found within ourselves?

Do you know your destiny in this lifetime? If you do, can you identify your role as a Haven, a Harbor or a Hollow?

Haven
A Haven is a retreat, a sanctuary. Haven’s express an oasis of joy and serenity, a Haven is dreamy, unreal. Havens can be found in your mother’s arms as a child, your lover’s embrace or a moment spent under the moon and stars by a lazy river on a perfect evening.

Haven’s remind you of hope, of all the wonder and beauty in the world and why it is so good to be here. But Havens by nature, are fleeting. Haven’s don’t judge. They are just here to remind you of joy, of light and of laughter, of the power of love and what it means to be fully alive and present.

They are like a first kiss, a beautiful dream, or the moment you feel the stirring of love. A Haven can be remembered forever but only lived for a few moments. Havens are to remind you of Heaven (Haven) and that at times, life can be like heaven on earth. Havens are natural forces and must do what they do; they cannot be contained, as they move like angels on earth, spreading their light. Once the moment is experienced, they must drift away or you will become enraptured and stay caught in stasis, instead of moving forward like you need to do.

Friction is caused when it is time for the Haven and the person to part company, as the person fears loss and wants to control the Haven and attempt to assert ownership, which cannot be. A Haven cannot be owned or possessed. Once the open hand attempts to make a fist, the Haven slips away. A Haven is not a home and when the person attempts to settle in permanently, the Haven will create friction, shake them loose and set them free. The purpose of a Haven is to create a magical moment of bliss, to remind people that Heaven can exist on Earth.

Harbor
A Harbor is an organized portal of entry, where people are welcome to enter and to leave. A Harbor offers protection from storms and provides a place to seek safety, shelter and repairs. Harbors, while offering safety, do not equally accept all newcomers. A Harbor knows that not all who enter come in peace. A Harbor has a duty to protect all who enter and so it takes the time to build trust with newcomers in order to understand their intentions.

Harbors have long memories. They hold energy, retain possession of goods and space and can harbor a grudge when mistreated. Harbors can conceal and hide people, in order to protect them from other people or storms. A harbor is a landing place, but never the same, as new cargo and ships enter daily and new people move there to work on the docks and in the town. People who decide to stay there long term, adjust to deal with the constant change, understanding that there are people they may connect with and then never see again. A Harbor is a place to lay anchor for a while, usually temporarily, as room always needs to be made to allow new people and cargo to enter.

Harbors are often haunted with ghosts of regret, grief, unresolved situations and people who have not learned to let go of the past. Like many situations in life, a Harbor understands the circle of life including lack and abundance and that luck comes and goes. The purpose of a Harbor is to allow all who enter their portal, to unload their burdens and share their stories, their adventures and their treasures. They provide comfort, solace and space to interact with other travelers.

Hollow
A Hollow is similar in nature to a mother’s womb. It is a place to recover from an arduous journey in order to be reborn. Often located between mountains, it symbolizes that we have undergone an experience of monumental proportions and now we are able to rest and recuperate before we journey again to climb another mountain.

A Hollow is different from a Haven or a Harbor. It does not promise that all life is beautiful like a Haven nor is it active like a Harbor, a Hollow’s beauty lies in its simplicity and connection to nature. A Hollow allows you to be, just as you are, no comparisons, no action, just a time of reflection. There in the Hollow is a natural rhythm, the chirping of crickets and birds, the croaking of frogs, the splashing turtles and the sway of the trees in the breeze. A Hollow creates a large bowl in which you are invited to sink into and feel the connection of the circle of life. It reminds you that what will be will be, regardless of where you venture again or where you have come from.

A Hollow works like a vacuum. Things are drawn there to fill the space. During time in the Hollow, one retreats from the world. A Hollow, like a Haven, is not meant to be lived in for a lifetime. A Hollow offers an opportunity to reflect and gather strength in order to move on to the next part of the journey. Hollow’s can be enchanted with a magic that allows us to gaze into the water and see within and around us what has not been clear before. However, one must not dwell too long in the Hollow, for there is a the danger of staying inactive for too long, and becoming stuck in a bog or swamp, left to wallow in the murky water.

The Hollow is the in-between. It is there for us when we need it. The purpose of a Hollow is to allow us to recuperate and build up strength, so we can deal with our shadow selves and the mental and emotional thoughts slowing us down.

The Gifts of the Haven, Harbor, and Hollow

In the Haven, we remember who we are at the core level and the source from which we are all connected. We are given the gift of joy.

In the Harbor, we deal with action and the physical, making decisions and movements every day. We are given the gift of purpose.

In the Hollow, we go within to discern why we have done what we have done thus far in life and what that says about us. From there, we strengthen our resolve to go forth and do better on our next step and adventure. We are given the gift of strength.

Do you recognize yourself as a Haven, a Harbor or a Hollow? Perhaps you are all three or act as one or the other in different relationships? Can you identify the Haven, Harbor and Hollow in others and how the friction caused in each meeting, can help you on your road to inner peace?

May the friction you encounter on your journey create a spark, lighting your path to peace.

More about Kala Ambrose:
Kala is an award winning author, intuitive and talk show host of the Explore Your Spirit with Kala Show. Her thought-provoking interviews entice listeners to tune in around the globe! Described by her guests and listeners as discerning, empowering and inspiring, she speaks with world renowned authors, artists, teachers and researchers delving into metaphysical, holistic and paranormal topics. Kala’s  book, 9 Life Altering Lessons: Secrets of the Mystery Schools Unveiled delves into the mysteries of ancient Egyptian mystery schools and explains their wisdom teachings. Kala lectures on Esoteric Teachings,  Developing Business Intuition, Working with Auras, Chakras and Energy Fields, and Wise Woman Wisdom (also known as the Divine Feminine). Kala’s Guided Meditations CD’s have just been released with Spirit of Hawaii and Egyptian Mystery Temple and Tibetan Mountain Journey.  More info: www.ExploreYourSpirit.com